Day 18 of Chalean Extreme - My Confessional

Okay I posted on sparkpeople my confessional now I'm going to copy paste that here cause I've been eating like crap
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This was written Sept 26.2009

I'm been eating like Utter CRAP. I tried today to eat healthy and I was having a great day but then I got dinner with my boyfriend and I tried something he got. It was french fries with cheese and gravy. Yea I know it sounds like crap for you body and it is. This week I tried to eat healthy at wendy's cause my boyfriend wanted nuggets so I got a wrap and I figure I'd have only half and it couldn't have been that big. This thing was monsterous with bbq chik'n nuggets, bacon, crispy onion, aged cheddar, 7 kinds of lettuce in a sun dried tomato wrap. I mean DUDE really it was fricken Delicious. Yesterday we had italian and I didn't get myself anything but I had a little bit of everyone's food. I mean I understand that I need to control myself. It's not an emotional thing like I get depressed and sad and want to eat. No it's Frickin delicious. It's like a drug right, cause you do really GREAT without it and then you try one thing that throws you off and then you want to try everything and then you go on a crazy binge. It's loving the taste of food. And I know I shouldn't man cause I look and feel great right now about myself. But I know that if I keep this up I will be un-doing all my progress. That sucks. I need to stop eating like a fricken pig. I mean like today all I was going to order was a steak grinder with lettuce, tomato, steak, and onions. No Cheese cause I know that cheese is not that great for you so for saltiness I got pickles. I ordered a small....IT WAS NOT SMALL it was like a foot long at fricken subway. FOOD I hate you because you are delicious when you cause me harm. I hate you because you are greasy, but crunchy. I need to cut the crap seriously, but it's soooo hard right now. If this is hard I can't imagine how it is for ppl to stop smoking. I think I'm addicted to food :(. Screw you CHEESE FRIES WITH GRAVY...YOU SUCK!!!! Bah I'm pissed with myself. I feel like I cheated on myself. I guess tomorrow's another day....
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So there you go I've been eating horribly. Yesterday I did better than the rest of the days. I went over my fats and under my proteins, but I met my calories. Yea it's still not great but atleast I'm taking small steps again. Oh yea I ordered Shakeology and because I'm a coach it didn't cost me as much. I figured that it's going to be the best thing for me to be able to replace my meals and keep my calories and ranges at bay. If you are interested in shakeology come here. So I just have to wait until the end of the week to get shakeology. Besides that I'm eating my yogurt so that I can get my breakfast instead of skipping it. So right now I'm just waiting to digest it and start my workout. I went to bed at 11:35pm and got up at 8:00am to get about 8 hours of sleep. I figure it would help me lose weight if I get 8 hours of sleep. I figure I'd get up early and get my workout....look I'm on the internet. But I'll digest my yogurt and kick some butt.