Why I do what I do to lose weight

I remember there was a girl on sparkpeople.com that used to motivate me a lot she lost like about 100 lbs I think. Then she wrote a blog entry about how happier she was when she was 100lbs heavier because she fretted less, had to worry about calories less, and wasn't as obsessed as she was with it. And then I never saw her again on sparkpeople. She was gone I think she deleted her profile.

She INSPIRED me and I thought to myself if She could do it so could I.

While driving in my car it I was thinking why am I doing this and this is why...

It's my new obsession but in a good way. I used to come home and all I would do is play World of Warcraft for hours on end. Now I blog, go on sparkpeople, and facebook. Yes it's still an internet addiction but I still find ways to better myself and better others. I mean today *Courtneydey* told me that I inspire her. I inspired someone today. Do you know how that feels? That feels great you know what a confidence booster. When I hear people say that and when I try to help someone that feels down about their weigh gains, setbacks, problems what ever it feels good. You know I've had setbacks and people are there for me and I know how hard it gets to lose weight. It adds a bit of responsibility for me. Not only do I have to do it for myself, but for other people so I can inspire or motivate them to change their lives. So they can tell me if Jenn can do it so can I.

I have more confidence in myself then I ever had before when I'm taking care of myself. I feel prettier and my self esteem is lifted. I don't think it's so much because of the weight loss, it helps but it's knowing that I am taking care of myself. I'm trying to dress better, be more positive with positive thinking and self talk, and I even try to be more sexy for my boyfriend lol. I feel great naked. I can say that and you know what I have my belly fat, I have my stretch marks and I have bumps and lumps BUT I FEEL GOOD. Cause I see the changes in my body and I know I'm making the effort and even though I could never wear a bikini cause of my stretch marks I will be able to wear the sexiest looking one piece out there.

I do it because my father has diabetes, his father has diabetes, his mother died from diabetes and breast cancer, his grandmother died from diabetes, and some of my brothers have diabetes. It DOESN'T SKIP GENERATIONS. Last time I had blood work I had HIGH cholesterol and I was 23 and 169 lbs. NO NO NO NO NO I will not have that crap, be result of my lifestyle. If I get diabetes let it be genetics NOT because I didn't try to prevent it. If I have a heart disease let it be genetic and NOT because I didn't make an effort of caring for myself. I am 24 years old I do NOT need to have high cholesterol. I have control and I need to learn to use it and utilize it.

I am setting an example not just for my daughter but for my step daughter who sees me workout EVERYTIME she comes over. EVERYTIME she sees me exercising and she asks questions and wants to know why I'm doing it. Or why I'm eating this or not eating that. I have to set the example for our kids at least so if they don't learn it all they can learn some of it.

I want to grow old and live a long life with my boyfriend and my kids. I know it's not hard and I might fail, but I might not. I have to stick with it and this is why I write this. So when I feel like that girl I can go back to this and tell myself WHY I AM DOING THIS. DON'T GIVE UP JENNIFER DELGADO!!!! DON'T YOU GIVE UP EITHER WHOEVER READS THIS!!! And I don't care if your goal is not weight loss and it's something else...DON'T GIVE UP!!! It's okay to have setbacks and *eff* up but don't let it get the best of you. If you fall get your *** back up and keep walking!!! Every setback is a lesson that will make you stronger. Setbacks are just scars and toughen up your skin to help you keep on going and to remind you of how you got there and what to do the next time you reach that point. I don't want this to be temporary and am glad of all the support I have to keep me going.

Thank you,

Jennifer Delgado